remember when i said i knew what i wanted to do.

i lied.
i have no idea. i am acctually thinking really i dont want a real job until i am 27. that seems like a good age. why? because i am 20(almost 21!) but have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life at the moment. like what if what i decided and spent thousands of dollars on i hate in 5 or 10 years. really? what will happen then? blah. whatever.


and then last night god was soo cool. I joined this biblestudy/homegroup from my chruch in toledo. my chruch up here is huge, like the chapel but bigger and more modern. like the chapels youngest son or something. anyways, since its so big its hard to get to know anyone and yeah that makes it difficult to be at home at chruch. so i searched around, and didnt have to look far but there is a group that meets on monday nights (which works perfectly for me!) and yeah, i found someone to give me a ride (i dont have a car and its wayy to far to bike) so yeah and last night it was really cool just to be real with these people. annddd there was a girl there that i knew from the chapel. like i mean we wernt best friends or anything but i regconized her face and was like ah! i know you. she goes to bg and its really weird like such a small world.
anyways, this is exactly what i needed and i am so thankful for god to provided me. like wow. and i am really excited to see where god leads us. anyways.

today work is slow. its beautiful out and i cant wait to go to mississippi for fall break. its going to be awesome.


yay for upcoming fun in september and october. SO busy.
1- Big little night!
2- football season!
3- birthday
4-homecoming week - esp the parade!
5-fall break and heading to mississippi
6-ed and i two year !!
7-halloween
8-novemeber.

where did the semester go? hahah

hitch hiking

i just want to run away.

run away from all this madness.


do i like it? i dont think so.
do i want more of this craziness? no thanks.
I barely have time to eat. let alone excerise, read, play, talk, grab coffee and socialize. why?

i want to be done with school. i think i am getting senioritist alittle too early. i am just so OVER this call thing. i have already spent four years in college (yahhoo akron.) and i am like blah. are we there yet? but what and where is "there"?

maybe its because i think i know what i want to do. or have a clue. and its getting me excited and ready to be done. maybe its because i start to think of how much money i am in debt. maybe its because i think about all this stuff that i am "learning" but will never once use in my job.

eh. blah.

other than that i am having a wonderful day.
and it seems to me that i have fallen head over heels for this boy, again. its so weird. like i have a big crush on him. but he is already my boyfriend! haha oh well

ciao

Regardless of the number of people counting on you -- independent of your position of authority or responsibility -- everything does not depend on you; there are many things you don't understand. Humbly admit the truth. Put your confidence in God rather than yourself.


this really hit me today, as i am sitting doing nothing at work.

ahh i run from one thing to the next. i need to rest and let god take control. ah

all i have is yours. take from me my heart.


in other news another one of my friends is engaged.

thats its. see you later.

google. my best friend.

so its been a really long time. (ah! almost a month) but still. i need to update my readers and my jounral of the things that has been happening this month.


first of all.

RA training is over. whoop. it was long and really dry. i mean i know they tried but yah. anyways, i made some really great new RA friends. like hope, stephanie and amy. my hall looked really good, it was a rock and roll theme and to my delight most of the records and stuff are still hanging. soo yip! haha move in went smooth, my residents are ok, they stay in their rooms all the time. i want them to get out and come to things but i cant get them to.

next.

my friend Shelia got married. I knew this girl from my freshmen year. we both went on spring break trip to mississippi to help with katrina relief, but we did not have any friends. so basically we were BFFs and got really close. anyways, she and her husband had just started dating right before spring break so it was really cool to have seen the whole thing develop. The wedding was the weekend of move in, which was a hassle trying to miss it and be at the wedding. it was a great girls weekend and we had a lot of fun at the rehersal dinner and bachlorette party and the wedding was goregous. the weather was perfect. me and chels passed out programs. it was such a beautiful weekend.

the first week of classes: oh man. it rained alot.

so i will tell you about my classes. (this may get long. feel free to skim)

Business Law: our teacher is old and cranky and hates the heat so he lets us out early. i have no idea what that test is going to be on because his lectures are all over the place. blah.

Management: i really like my teacher, but we have alot busy work. so yeah i mean but how can you teach management? its like people know how or they dont. or by experiances.

Marketing: i have alot of friends in this classes and the teacher like spoon feeds us. i feel like everything is over lapping with managment and i cant tell the classes apart.

Stats 2: ahh my asian teach is crazy. she is nice, but i danno. her english is not so good, better than my stats 1 but still. i have a good group of kids in there to study with

german 3010: ahh this class has four other students in it, i like my teacher but she is strict. oh well. hopefully i can keep up. i feel like i dont have enough vocab, so i have gone to the tutor to help and hopefully will have a lanaguage partner to work with. I recently got a package from julia and kathrin and in it had three disney movies on tape all in german. they are awesome to listen to.

career development: what a joke. but at UT we have this new program that basically does your resume for you electronically, its like you just pick and choose what you want it to look like and poof its done. haha oh well.

and then i work at the graduate college. its really easy at the moment. it will probably get busy here within the next few weeks for spring semester. but its nice to relax.

i have class everyday until 7. and its not as bad as it sounds i guess, but i dont want to do that agian next semester. blah.

ummm i have phone dates setup with my flatmates on thursday, its really nice to keep in contact with her. i looked up my one language partner who is a model, remember her? well she is pregnant and has done some modeling with that. they look awesome. but yeah i guess there are a few new students in our bible study and one girl from toledo! so thats cool! :) god is really moving in Luneburg!



the first few weeks being back at toledo has been like reverse culture shock. basically i miss germany and the way things are set up in europe. i got really used to the quiet life. and relaxed. i dont really enjoy this busyiness. but i mean i love these people, it just stinks always being on the go. i feel like it makes life run past you and you dont get to fully enjoy the time. i danno, i mean i guess i am getting used to it, but i dont know if i want to. i really want to go back to germany next summer for a bit to work on some more school, or maybe head over for my masters. who knows what the future will bring. and i am nervous about that too. its my third year of college and i have the most generic major. but i dont care, i want to travel and get paid. like work for a study abroad company and go and check out campuses to send our students to. that would be awesome. anyways. now i am rambling.


and if anyone even reads this far

here is my address:
Crossings 1307
3061 W Bancroft Ave.
Toledo OH 43606


send me love.